Warning. This article may or may not be satirical in nature.
Any 20th AFL team has limited options – here we explore some of them in a very shallow dive
1. Canberra – get GWS to finally focus in their own Sydney market. Even then an ACT team is going to rely heavily on the benevolence of Government and League.
2. The NT – but it requires the League, Clubs and Gov to essentially forever acknowledge that the club is basically a community service
3. WA 3. A burgeoning economy, high demand for seats at matches already. I dont think the AFL would want that simply due to the WAFC holding the other two licenses.
4. Ive seen Bigfooty folks suggest Newcastle or North Queensland or some other outrageously crazy idea. Its not going to happen, not now not ever, unless Victoria collapses into civil war and millions of refugees make their way north
5. Ive seen New Zealand mentioned. in fleeting past. Not going to happen. Put the drugs down or share them.
6. Nauru. I mean never mind that its one of the few places on earth with less economic pull than the North Melbourne footy club, its the only other country on earth where the sport has a theoretically doiminant presence
7. Reinstate Fitzroy. I mean it would be nice for nostalgias sake, Im not entirely sure the club is ready to jump from VAFA Premier C Division to the heights of the AFL, but hey sure why the hell not. As I wrote this someone mentioned South melbourne coming back. South IS Sydney
8. Reinstate the Central Coast Bears. Look I know its out of left field. but they seem to want in on every other license operation going on offer these days. Surely they jump on this too.
9. Add more Victorian teams. Not as crazy as it sounds at first, the entire state is within 3 hours drive or a Vline of the CBD. Ballarat missed their shot in 1955, but armed with an upgraded venue at Mars Stadium, it could finally be their time
10. SA 3. SA 2 (Port) is a stiff breeze away from dusting off the tarps and going into full on crisis mode at any time. Needs 20 more years to really bed itself into the local community. Wich is ironic really, since they are theoretically one and the same with SANFL Port est 1870
11. China. Been there before – league claims it was a roaring success, why not take advantage of such a logical opportunity. Probably work best as a relocation, but no one would volunteer
12. America. Everyone else is doing it. Any day now the AFL will be announcing a combined AFL exhibition match as a curtain raiser to an Allstar pickleball competition and a cooking demonstration by Wolfgang puck.
